My Marks: My Destiny?

With the announcement of Board results, mothers celebrating the success of their kids on facebook and a post by a mother celebrating the 60% of her son going viral, suddenly everybody is discussing marks and education system. Newspaper are carrying articles about how are education is flawed and social media has erupted with similar posts. It’s time to make sure that your child is running the right race or failure and dissatisfaction are likely results.

What’s the fuss about the marks? What will they ensure? At most a seat in a prestigious college. Does that guarantee success? The obvious answer is No. Still many parents think that if their ward gets a good degree from a reputed college their job is done. That marks their success as parents. Obviously this translates into pressure of academics while kids are still young and in school. Brings to mind a case where mother was complaining about her child of class 5 not remembering and paying attention to studies. Turned out child had scored 97 and lost 3 marks to silly mistakes. Well who needs treatment here, mother or the child?

Is child getting admission in a reputed college the only criteria of success as a parent. Since when marks of your child started becoming a mark of your success. Is that the only parameter? And who has set that parameter? How far away from the truth are we? It’s time to consider some startling facts and open our eyes to the changing world scenario.

Google, Tesla and many other companies have said they do not require a college degree for some of their top jobs. The trend is expected to grow. A study by Dell reported by Huffingtonpost concluded 85 per cent of the jobs that will exist in 2030 haven’t even been invented yet. Take a moment to stop and let the data really sink in. The over inflated cutoffs will no longer matter as will the degrees 10 years later. So why make your and your child’s life miserable over marks.

Having a look at the 10 skills you need to thrive in the fourth industrial revolution by World Economic Forum will make you realize most of the schools or colleges are falling short. It’s assumed that following the curriculum will lead to inculcation of these skills. Nothing could be further from the truth. Sitting in class with 40 other kids doesn’t necessarily make your child good at negotiation and people management. Rise in cases of adolescents suicide and depression is a testimony to that. Mindlessly enrolling your kids in more extra curricular activities might not help either.

There is a drastic need for reform. I find it very amusing that the only questions my 5 year old gets asked consistently are” Which school do you study? Which class? ” as if that’s all that defines him. Nobody seems to be asking “what new did you learn today, what do you enjoy, what makes your soul sing??” This reform will have to start from you. If you keep looking to schools, colleges and education system to bring in that reform it might be too late for your child.

Follow my page parenting mantra for more insights. You could also contact me for appointments for your individual parenting concerns. I love reading your comments and replying to them, so keep them pouring in.

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About Dr. Mona Choudhary

After MBBS, I did my MD(Psychiatry) from PGIMER, Dr. RML Hospital, New Delhi now a Centre of Excellence in Mental Health. As a Consultant Psychiatrist I view my clients as persons and not merely an illness to be fixed. I assess and treat various mental health disorders with the goal of making my clients more resilient. My current focus of work is Parental well being and guidance as it can significantly improve quality of life and shape our kids to withstand pressure and excel in their lives.
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10 thoughts on “My Marks: My Destiny?

    1. Thank you so much Bhaskar. I do hope so. Please feel free to share further and if anyone needs assistance pass on my number. Aum.

  1. Very well said Dr. MONA. I would like to add here that we as parents are playing with the image of our own child. For example, we talk about him/her image with others as we see accorfing to our expectations like if she/he is not performing well in studies we say to everybody that his/her performance is not good and is wasting his time and all other bad things for the child. This kind of patenthood is disastrously dangerous for our children. Keeping aside our expectations and viewing the child from a fresh and new perspective is starting of a new relationship between child and parents.

    1. Beautifully said Mr. Rajesh. You are so very right. We don’t realize that shaming just doesn’t work and what we say hugely impact our children.

  2. Your concerns are genuine Mona , the situation demands parents involvement and understanding of the issue. Parenting is tough but worth putting the best foot forward. I hope we as parents understand and always support our child. Thanks for bringing up such a important issue

    1. Thank you so much for appreciating it and taking time to read the article. Parent’s awareness is the key and the foundation and you all who take time to read such articles lead the way. Kudos to you.

  3. The marks of children especially in class 10th and 12th are considered so important in India these days, even more than developing moral values, healthy relations and many other skills like: theatre, cooking, managing emotions etc.

    Parents are the starting point for changing this wrong societal idea of basing the worth of a child on marks obtained. There is so much more and wonderful about life than just wanting two or three more marks.

    Thank you for spreading awareness and guiding on this issue!

    1. You have put it so aptly Gunnika. The Joy of life is lost for those 2-3 marks. Thank you for appreciating.

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